quid pro quo and marriage

Posted: January 27, 2011 in domestication, expatriate, marriage, wife, husband, house

Cara Cassidy commented yesterday, “It must feel liberating to part with all the ‘stuff’ you’ve accumulated there.”  I am not so sure about that liberating feeling.  I certainly desire to be liberated, but I have become a slave to the computer (my main tool for selling stuff); there are a few items remaining and I am still attached to this damned computer.  My liberation really lies in having my whole life out of my bag, living outside social norms.  Most importantly, the liberation lies in unchaining myself from this computer.  The temporary freedom from “stuff” and internet and all the complications that come with technology will, perhaps, lead to a calmer domestic life when the time comes.  Having said that, there are people who continue on their domesticity by moving to a bigger apartment.  Is the universe a better place if can facilitate to that end.

What should I do about the various household odds and ends like flashlights, batteries, beach mats, and cleaning supplies?

There are two schools of thought in this department.  One is the wrong one (Nic’s): throw it all out and be done with it.  Mine (which is the better and less wasteful of actions): give the items away gratis to neighbors who might find use for them.

Since there is still a couple days before we have to leave and it only takes a moment to throw the items out come Monday, I have made the executive decision to try and give the stuff to a friend who’s moving into the complex.

In Nic’s mind, the less we have in the house at this point, the better it is for her mindset to start relaxing.  As for me, it is a matter of principle rather than money.  Useful items should find a use, if possible.  At the expense of Nic’s peace of mind and the ensuing reduction in chaos, I am walking the thin line between my principles and a happy wife.  And do I sacrifice my principles in order to keep her always happy?  What would that do to my happiness?

These are all questions that are at the root of compromise in marriage—and human relationships, perhaps.  And I write compromise not in the sense that you end up lacking integrity, but I use compromise in the more neutral connotation of finding a middle ground (quid pro quo) so life can move forward with some semblance of peace of mind and integrity.

 

Comments
  1. nic says:

    For the record: I’m down with donation and recycling as a general rule, but sometimes the quick and dirty solution (the trash can) is just fine. But go forth, St. Nicholas, and bring our miscellany to our friends and neighbors.

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